JESUS, LOOK AT ALL THEM CHURCHES...

So here we are living in The Dalles… and the first thing I noticed is a surfeit of houses of the Lord crammed in, cheek by jowl, all over town. We’re talking about a town of just over 13,000 souls but, it seems, a vast majority of them have a place to go on the Sabbath.

I think I tracked them all down at 25 churches but every couple of days I stumble on yet another one. On our Saturday morning ritual walk of three blocks down to the Farmers’ Market, one block over to the library and three blocks home we can cast a glance on 6 churches.

There are classics like the Gothic Revival brick pile (1) of a Catholic church… St. Pete’s with a six foot copper cock atop its spire (tee hee). That, however, proved to be too small so it is now a museum of some sort and the new Catholic complex is on the edge of town (2) and looks ever so like a DMV office. There is a smattering of Presbyterians, Episcopalians and Methodists (and yes, them pesky Mormons) and then a plethora of the lesser forms of worship including a half dozen arcane versions of Lutheranism; Missouri Synod, Wisconsin Evangelical, American Lutheran, American Evangelical Lutheran and so on. And then come the Pentacostals, Christian Science, Baptists many and varied and an odd lot jumble of Four Square Gospel (3) (a small, unassuming building that except for a small sign stating “Sanctuary” would appear to be a storage unit), Assembly Of God and something called The Church Of God-Anderson, Indiana.

Far and away our favorite is (4) which has transubstantiated into a sandwich and coffee shop (oddly, not open on Sundays…)

Lest you think this is all a recent turn of events in the town’s history, two blocks from our house, behind the local High School, right in the middle of 12^th street is a round about that features a towering basaltic upthrust (5) known as Pulpit Rock where early day frock coaters first attempted to banish the belief systems of the local indigenous population by instilling in them the notions of a fearful old testament God.

To date, I must admit, our pagan Sunday morning lie-in has been disturbed by neither an incessant carillon call to worship nor the invasion of well meaning, bible-toting proselytites cluttering up our doorstep. Thank God for small mercies, eh?