As the holidays continued to be snowed under we finished
dinner then repaired to the sofa to watch that great Christmas classic from 1964
“Santa Claus Conquers The Martians” starring that screen luminary Pia
Zadora.
The Martians kidnap Santa and two small earth children in
order to bring Christmas joy and happiness to all Martian children (who have
been brainwashed by watching television signals emanating from earth). After
thwarting the evil, Gestapo-like Martian who is set on stopping this decadent
course, Santa sets up a toy shop on the red planet and all is well across the
universe leaving him free to make it back to the North Pole (along with the
earth children) in time for a Joyous Noel here on our small, blue ball.
A strange tale made all the stranger by the budget
production values and over-sized space electronics considered state of the art
a scant dozen years before Star Wars…
Whereas that was strange, we also watched the 1969 film “The
Littlest Angel” which was more truly disturbing… rather like a Monty Python
Christmas on LSD.
It starred Johnny
Whitaker (the little boy on the American sitcom Family Affair) as a humble shepard boy who falls off a cliff while chasing a
white dove sent by God himself.
Okay now polish up your memory, tighten up your
imagination and hang onto your hat… Johnny goes on to tour heaven with his spirit guide Fred
Gwynne (yes, Herman Munster ) in a confusing attempt to find meaning for his life (and, I
suppose, death).
Along the way he meets, among others, Tony Randall, Connie
Stevens and Cab Calloway.
E. G. Marshall is God and did I mention it’s a musical? They
don’t make ‘em like that anymore…
