Saturday, July 31, 2010

when it comes to fatherly advice... you get what you pay for.

Inbox

Eva Rocke to me July 26th 4 days ago

We had a nice time too! It has begun to occur to me that there are a surprising number of older (over 40) men in Quincy who think they have a chance with young ladies in their 20s. Maybe I'm missing something, but Saturday night was an interesting taste of how folks will put forth a solid effort trying to impress a young woman like Alba who is obviously totally out of their league (simply by age, of course). Can you explain this phenomenon to me?

LUCKY BASTARD

He was rolling down the state highway between Calpine and Loyalton, Stairway to Heaven blasting out of the cassette player and the ‘74 Ford F150 pick up belching a spiraling plume of black smoke as the knocking of the bad main bearing kept a steady back beat to the music. Jesus’, he thought… I’m gonna have to get a job soon so I can afford to drop a new short block into this old wreck. One hand held on the wheel while the other simultaneously balanced a can of Bud Light, reached for a smoke and muffled the rattle of the stick shift.

Eyes partly closed and head thrown back he almost missed seeing the car on the side of the road with its hood up and the driver standing forlornly alongside the driver’s door. “God damn!” he muttered as he hit the brakes and reached up to steady the rear view mirror. “That was (oh, for example…) Halle Berry!” Disregarding his standardized Aryan leanings he shimmied to a rolling stop and flipped a u-turn while he wondered out loud, “What would she be doing out here by herself and how did her clothes get in such a mess just looking under the hood of her car?”

She was already smiling as he coasted to a stop nose to nose with her crippled vehicle and, as he unfolded himself from the seat, pinched the chew out of his upper lip and tucked his beer gut into his pants, she said, “Oh thank you for stopping. I would be ever so grateful if you could give me a lift into town or give me a place to stay for the night until I can call someone.” “No problem little lady,” he said as he used his teeth to clean the dirt from under a particularly dirty thumbnail. “Always ready to help a gal in distress. My double wide is just down the road and in the morning I can drive you into town.” Hey, this is really gonna work out he thought as she eyed him up and down with what seemed to him to be a bit of a hungry look in her gaze.

Buddy leaned forward, took a long hit off the pipe and went through his wife’s purse looking for beer money. “Hell yeah, it could totally happen just like that.” He said as he reached in his pocket for the truck keys.

(pee ess... does this mean I don't have a chance with you or (and) Alba?)

1 comment:

  1. Hmmm. Still waiting for her comment. Maybe I have a chance with them too!

    ReplyDelete